is a transliteration of the Greek word, εγερσις, which has the meaning of being roused to life. Thus, it is my hope that what you find on this blog will empower, arouse, stimulate, excite, and animate your life--your soul, your spirit--the wholeness of who you are.

Monday, June 20, 2011

It's the Laughing

The thing I am learning about anxiety is that I need to talk it out. As an introvert, I tend to keep my tensions inside of me. I have this idea that I can manage them internally. While that is true for some of the time, it takes a whole lot longer and sometimes gets a whole lot bigger before the anxiety whittles away to nothing. But by that time, I have stopped laughing, stopped singing, and stopped skipping.

Over the past few months, I have learned something about myself. I like to express my anxiety in a hugely dramatized extroverted fashion. As a matter of fact, this is how I need to express my anxiety. Anxiety feels large. It swells and gets puffy. It balloons outward and needs to release a lot of hot air. I used to think that this was a negative outcome because my family interpreted these dramatic interludes as complaining or as something else that caused them discomfort. I think they take them personally and feel intimidated by the force of their exhalations.

And that is what I do. I exhale my anxiety in big swelling breaths. Like Shrek says, "Better out than in." I realize that I just need to inform the listeners that I am simply blowing a lot of dramatic hot air. Nothing personal. I do this with my CPE peers, and because they are not emotionally invested in my anxiety, I can get really dramatic. I make it "huge-er" than it is in reality, and it becomes comic relief for all of us. They laugh, I laugh. They laugh harder. I laugh harder and sometimes snort, which is embarrassing, and then I laugh myself into that suffocating state that hurts the gut and makes the mouth ache.

Really, I think it is the laughing that I love most about anxiety.


LG Enterprise said...

I made a ringtone that laughs when receiving a call. It has helped me with unwanted calls that cause anxiety :) Love this post.

Lisa Gonzales-Barnes said...

Hey, that's a good idea. Thanks for the comment.

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