The Eye Sees

Eighth page of my altered book: The Lamenting Prophetic Witness through the Eyes of Women's Insanity

The design of this altered book was inspired by William Blake. a 19th century poet and artist. He illustrated most of his poetry and then printed and published his own work. The quote comes from the title page of Visions of the Daughters of Albion. It sums up the contents of this altered book.

"The Eye sees more than the Heart knows"

An Ancient Beauty

Seventh page of my altered book: The Lamenting Prophetic Witness through the Eyes of Women's Insanity

Warning: This page contains profanities. Nevertheless, it represents some of the women with whom I work at the State Hospital. For them, there is no censoring of language when they are in the midst of their suffering and pain. And yes, some curse at God. Not because they don't believe in God but because they do, and they wonder what God is doing for them in their efforts to recover or be whole. They have been oppressed for so long that sometimes God seems to be an oppressor too. Much as they would like to believe differently, they struggle. And at times, it comes out loud, clear, and profane. Here is the poem:

An ancient beauty

Pees in her pull-up

Damn Mother Fucker Bitches

She glares at Jesus

And gouges her eyes

Her Golden Smile

Sixth page of my altered book: The Lamenting Prophetic Witness through the Eyes of Women's Insanity

I created this page with a particular woman in mind. A lovely woman whose mental illness often made it difficult for me to follow her story. But in the midst of her telling, I discovered one thing for certain. She loved God. She loved Jesus. There were times I met with her that I wanted a miraculous healing to take place. But of course, that didn't happen. Instead, I gave her my listening ears. And I listened hard because she had something to say no matter how unintelligible it may have been at the time. Here is the poem I wrote in her honor:

Her golden smile

Whispers absurdities,

Unholy prophecies.

Jesus hangs on her wall,

And with a darker eye,

She sees his mouth move.

Her Life is One of Destitution

Fifth page of my altered book: The Lamenting Prophetic Witness through the Eyes of Women's Insanity

There is something about being stuck in ways of living that attract hopelessness. When one is trapped in a body of emotional pain and suffering, escape feels impossible. How does one erase pain? How does one get out of the trap? When God is silent, what is a woman to do? She finds ways to cure herself in the only way she knows to survive.

This is the dilemma of many of the women in the hospital. They survive as only they know how and they hate themselves for it. This is their lament. Here is the poem for this page spread:

Her name is homeless PROSTITUTION.

Her life is one of DESTITUTION.

She cuts herself as a SOLUTION,

And looks to God for RESTITUTION.

God, Is That You?

Fourth page of my altered book: The Lamenting Prophetic Witness through the Eyes of Women's Insanity

One of the many things that leads to suffering is abuse, of all kinds. For many patients in the hospital, abuse began when they were children. The consequences of their abuse lives ever in their present. Their stories want to be heard. They want their stories to be heard. But too often their stories are full of fear and pain, and they cannot speak a word of them. So in behalf of those who are unable to speak their pain, I write it for them. Here is the poem from this page:

A footstep mars the hallway.

And darkness bars the doorway.

God, is that you?

Fear creeps into her bed

And abuses her head.

But her eyes stand wide open.