Stewarding Presence

 Stewarding presence--I read these words yesterday. Admittedly, I have not really thought much about stewarding my presence. As a spiritual director and minister in spiritual formation, I know that being present is important. Being present in the moment is a catch phrase for those in formational practices.

But being present and actually being consciously aware of how I am stewarding my presence seem to be two different things. I can be present without stewarding my presence. Simply being present doesn't mean that I am a steward of it.

What does it mean to be a steward of something? I had to think about this. The word, steward, brings to mind the tending of a thing or purposefully taking care of a thing or being in charge of a thing for another's benefit.

So how would stewarding my presence look in any given situation? I imagine it would depend upon the situation. But in general, I think that it would mean not just being present, but being present with intention. It would mean being intentionally present for the benefit of the other in the situation or being mindful of how my presence is tending or caring of the other or the situation itself.

Stewarding my presence connotes a presence that is more than just aware. It is intentional in its purpose for being present. It is being disciplined in my presence. It requires effort and conscious engagement. It is responsible presence.

Lately, I have noticed that I have not been as intentional with my presence. I have become too familiar with my directees, and I have needed this reminder that I must be a steward of my presence. And not only when I am working, but in all the moments in which I am present.

The Secret Presence Moving

Another reflection of what emerged for me in meditation.

Photo: Page four of my On Being a Helix in the Trinitarian Matrix altered book.

Presence

Last night I was reading in The Wisdom of the Enneagram and reread something that I had forgotten. Well, not really forgotten, it is something I know experientially. I think it was the wording that helped me remember what I already knew. It has to do with Presence, with being, with being present.

In essence, I was reminded that “Presence always reveals what in us is blocking us from becoming more present.” So true. The writers go on to say, in so many words, that presence enables us to become aware of the parts of our souls that we have not owned.

My soul journey reflects this truth. Unknowingly, I rejected parts of myself, my soul, particularly, those parts less attractive, less than what meets my standards of proper being. But as I rest in the Presence of God, I find that my own Presence becomes magnified. What was small and insignificant by my own standards becomes large and significant. The Presence invites me to take back the discarded parts and to become whole, complete.

That is what I want, to be whole, to own all of what is “me,” the ugly, the lovely, and the somewhere-in-between. I want to be present to it all, see it all, embrace it all, and just let it be what it is in the Presence of God. Therein is the work of transformation.

Riso, Don Richard and Russ Hudson. The Wisdom of the Enneagram. New York: Bantam, 1999.

Photo: http://edenpics.com