Since Monday’s Lenten reading and my previous blog post dated February 23, I have been reflecting on the human condition regarding love. As I began to think about my own relationships, I had to admit that I want to love unconditionally but I don’t. I want to reflect that “first love” that Nouwen describes; but inevitably, I fail. And I find myself expecting others to love me with a “first love,” but they give only a second love.
So I thought about what it means to be loved unconditionally with the “first love” of God. And I had to ask myself this question: Am I expecting others to love me unconditionally because I don’t really believe that God does? Or have I not given myself permission to receive that “first love” from God? Am I able to stand in the presence of God and honestly say that I believe that God loves all that I am? Or do I fear that there are parts of me that are not quite acceptable?
Does this fear prevent me from embracing that unconditional love and allowing it to be reflected from me into the lives of others?