Sunday, December 4, 2011
There is a kind of emotional pain that is good to feel. I don't mean that "it is good." Rather, I mean that it is good to allow it to be expressed, to be in the body and giving it a place to be felt, to be experienced, to be acknowledged and given a place in the realm of human living. In the short term, it might be easy to suppress the suffering of the pain, but in the long term, it has to be stored somewhere and will make itself known in other ways. "Better out than in" as Shrek would say.
Thus, paradoxically, feeling the emotional pain is actually a form of healing. The pain heals from the inside out. Giving the pain permission to be forces me to examine what is hurting, the real underlying cause. If I am honest with myself and refuse to "blame the other," I am able to discover what it is in me that feels pain, where it is, the reasons for it, the how of it. I discover a small bit of the hidden square in the Johari Window. And that discovery is the seed of healing.
Once the small bit is opened, I can no longer ignore myself. I either welcome the healing glimpse and embrace what I see or deny it and wallow in self pity. Wallowing usually blames the other or blames the self. Neither is helpful. Best to embrace and move through the pain with tears, honest talk, and endurance.
Posted by Lisa Gonzales-Barnes