Approve gives a thumbs up, a yes, a nod of the head. It affirms. Agrees. It is a word that says “I am with you.” The problem that comes with approve is when I need it from others.
Too often I find myself looking for others to approve of what I say, what I do, what I think, what I feel. When that doesn’t happen, I begin to dis-approve of myself. I doubt myself. Question myself. Fear arises and diminishes the power I could have.
The awareness of my tendency toward this way of responding to what others approve or disapprove has nudged me toward a more secure place. I realize that my desire for others to approve of me leads to accusation and deception.
If I believe that my thoughts, ideas, feelings, and actions are only worth as much as others approve of them, then I am only effective to the degree of that approval. This is deception.
And if I begin to doubt and question my ideas, thoughts, feelings, and actions because others disapprove of me and if I begin to berate myself for having such ideas and thoughts, then I disown my intuition based upon that disapproval. This is accusation.
I want neither.
Here is my reflective question for the day: “In what ways does approve affect you?”